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Well every story must have a start, so I will start at the begging of the trip. It's not that exciting so I shall make it quick.
Got up in the morning, before the birds did. They were up by the time I left, but I beat them that are how early I was. Got
on the train to Gatwick, no problems just had to sit in the cold for half an hour. Why am I going to Gatwick, well to meet
five other people from Oxford to go and work in Cincinnati for a week. Why Cincinnati god only knows. Any way I get to the
airport, check-in, go through security, no problems. Now none of us has each other's mobiles, we aren't that organised, so
what's the chances of meeting the others, well as it turns out, nill.
Usual stuff happens at the airport final board the plane; I still haven't seen any of the others. Given I have only really
met one of them face to face before its not that surprising is it. Well I get to my seat, which is in the middle because they
didn't have any other lefts. No one else is at my row yet, oh please let no one sit next to me, please. I start concocting
some story about my knees being bad, in the hope that the person next to me is short, and I can switch. Well first the guy
on one side turns up, no hope he is a miserable old fart. Well one to go, still a chance no one will sit there. Oh right,
yeah, well that one was quickly shot down too. "Ho ho ho, green giant" is the jingle that come to mind as the guy on the other
side of me turns up, his head looking into the storage cupboards above the seat. No chance of switching then. This guy is
tall, he stick on leg in his seat and then has to kind of slide his arse in, without breaking anything. My knees were firmly
wedged up on the seat in front; his were trying to break through to the other side.
Well, sitting there I look up, and low and behold Stephen, the only one I know is walking on the plane, quick shout of "Hi"
as he is bundled past me to his seat. Three of them manage to sit next to each other, I am stuck up front, and the other two
are somewhere at the back (have no idea where they were). Well the plane takes of, no surprises there, it can fly! Pretty
much an uneventful trip, except I get to see two really good films. The first being Evolution, really funny (some painful
bits with the anal probe, ouch), I want one of the aliens. Had quite a few of us laughing out loud I can tell you. Then the
second equally good film Remember the Titans, now this one nearly had me crying at a couple of points. You all no I am a bit
of a softie.
Well that was it, try and get some sleep for a couple of hours. Apart from the kids next door, forgot to mention them didn't
I. Yeah three little brats occupying nearby seats. Man they were on happy juice or something. Well the flight passes and we
come in toward the landing. Little on the rough side for some, I have had a lot worse. Still, not what you might want at the
end of your journey. Well hey, it gets worse on the landing. Touch down, well almost one wheel anyway; oh hang on, now no
wheels, we have bounced. All the time I am watching one wing going down and the other going up. Oh no back on the ground this
time, both wheels, whoa hang on we are going off to the right, no the left, no the right. Come on just stop the plane. At
last we slow down, and turn off, only for me to notice we were at the last turn off point, there is only about another 100
feet of runway left. Not as bad as JFK where we had to reverse back to the taxiway, but close enough. Well that got a bit
of excitement into the flight. And that's only the beginning.
As we get off the plane Stephen and I manage to meet up. And as usual I storm off, to the front to avoid the massive queues
that build at US immigration. We get to the queue, not that many people in front of us. We spot the others some way behind
us, not that far should be a few minutes behind. While standing in the queue the usual message about making sure you have
filled in all of the forms, back and front, is broadcast. And as usual one of the officers comes along to check. And as usual
half the people haven't done it, and were not even looking at doing it. Meanwhile Stephen and I are watching the immigration
desks as people go up. The officers there keep shouting at people to stand behind the line, that same message is plastered
up on all notices everywhere, don't people read anymore. And as usual the officers keep throwing people back into the queue,
so they can, FILL IN THE FORM. I think they should just shoot them the queues would be a lot shorter then.
In the usual manner I spend about five seconds at the desk as the guy takes the forms as a questions stamps them and I move
on. Stephen has the same deal, so why does it take all the others about five minutes each. Now we get to the really stupid
bit, here in Cincinnati you have to go pick up your check in luggage before going through customs, and then give it back to
them to send it to the baggage claim. It's totally nuts. So we pick up the luggage, deciding not to wait for the others until
we get to the final baggage claim. So we pass through customs really quickly. Now we go for the really mad stuff, we have
to give back our bags, which we do and then go through the security checks. Now these are a lot stricter than those we went
through getting on the plane.
I had heard a story before I left, which I told Stephen about. Where by a pilot going through here had been asked to take his
shoes off and put them through the X-Ray machine. Well he didn't like that, and refused, so they called over the national
guards and had him taken away. It was a good story, until we realised how true it was. They had those magic wands out and
were checking everyone's shoes before going through the metal detector, and most shoes set it off and had to be taken off.
Well being used to this kind of stuff by now, I had my coat off, every piece of metal shoved in my bags, my security pass
from the office put in the bag too (that sets of the alarms now). So I new my shoes set the alarms off, so I had them of to,
before they got to checking me, we had a nice chat instead with the women doing the checking. And she pointed out we would
have to take laptops out of our bags, so the extra machine could scan them properly, sorry, hang on what's the point of an
X-Ray machine??
Well after nearly stripping off, I went through the gate and didn't set it off thank god, then spent another five minutes putting
everything back on, what a nightmare. Stephen didn't have nearly as much hassle as me. Well we left there and went to the
baggage claim. This involved getting on the little train they have to go along for a couple of minutes, very cute and saves
you having to walk after being standing in the queues for so long. We get off that and pass another security area, where there
are a couple of commando type guys, with guns and everything. We Joke they will probably get the others later. So we get our
bags of the belt and hang around.
Well after fifteen minutes we are getting a little fed up waiting for the others now. Did they stop and wait for us? Doubt
it, maybe they got lost. Stephen complains about his eyes hurting after watching film and stuff for nine hours, not surprising
really. He has to drive one of our cars so the last thing we need is him falling asleep at the wheel. Okay twenty minutes.
So I joke maybe the got rejected by immigration and have to go back. Stephen recons they may be strip searching, and giving
them the "Drop'em and bend over" treatment. I was thinking the same thing, and having flash backs from the film Evolution,
with the anal probing, ouch.
Now its half an hour, maybe those commandos got them. Oh no, here are two off them, Ian and Chris. At last. So we ask about
the other two, and they say they saw them walking instead of getting on the train, why no one knows. Right of they go and
get their bags. Ian picks up his bag, its tiny looks like there is nothing in it, the way he just grabs it. Whoopee here are
the other two, Mark and Christian, what happened to them? Turns out they didn't know where the train went to (only had to
read the sign guys!). So they had walked, but when they got to the security area we had seen early with the commandos, they
got lost and didn't know where the exit was. So they had walked off the wrong way, a really wrong way. The next thing they
knew there were alarms going off, and then one of these soldier guys comes running towards them with a machine gun drawn.
Oh boy, now you get an idea of what's to come. Well they quickly get returned to the proper area, without being shot.
Right let's get out of here, they go grab their bags, and we all head out to get the shuttle to the Avis car rental place.
The shuttle gets there we all get in. It heads off, trundling along the road. It pulls up to the office where we have to get
off. At this point Ian works out he left his little suitcase back at the airport, god knows how, none of us had spotted it.
So we start joking they will probably have blown it up. So we leave him on the shuttle to go back, and we go and sort out
the cars. We are waiting around while Stephen signs for the cars, looking out of the windows at the surrounding storm. We'll
come back to that later. Well I am looking toward the airport waiting for a cloud of smoke to rise up as Ian's bag is blown
to bits, expecting to see him come back with just the handle. Ten minutes later he is back, with his little suitcase, having
found it exactly where we left it. Can you imagine after all that security and a bag if left unattended for more than ten
minutes and no one did anything? I recon someone went up to, kicked it, and thought it was empty.
By this time I had the impression Stephen was ready to go to sleep. We are ready to get the cars and then the heavens open,
and the rain comes down. This is a heavy shower, and none of us is prepared to go out to the cars in this. So we hang around
a bit. This isn't getting better, looks like its getting worse, so we've had it lets go. Stephen runs of to our car, Mark
and mine that is. The other three run for there's. I head out hugging the side of this building as the rain is going sideways
at this point, Mark and I get around the corner to find Stephen standing in the middle of the monsoon, but no car, its not
in our slot. So he tries the nearest one, yes that's it. Mark and I run over and throw our stuff in the back, I jump in the
back seat, as Stephen goes to get in, THE WRONG SIDE. Oh know he really isn't with it at this point. Mark does the same trying
to get in what he though was the passengers side. Not good.
So Stephen gets the car going, just. He is fiddling with all the knobs trying to clear the windscreen of the rain, and the
condensation. We get the headlights on. It's an automatic so more fun ensues. He starts going forward but kind of bump a long
a little, handbrake!! Okay we are off, lets go get the others. We drive past them and stop, waiting for them to start, looks
like they have the same trouble with the windscreen. Whoa they jump out of their parking slot a little to quick, right lets
get going. Round we go, Stephen the exits over there, no the other way. Oh well at least we get some practice in as we go
all the way round again. Okay out the main entrance, excellent. No one has ever driven here before so we are following the
map, easier said than done. We remind Stephen to drive on the right hand side. Okay we get to the interstate, only for Stephen
to miss the ramp, and we end up going over it, the others are okay they've gone down the ramp. So we have to turn off and
do a u-turn. Round we go, and the turn back onto the bridge over the interstate. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I start shouting get on the
right hand side, Marks joins in shortly after me, as we see Stephen is heading up the left hand lane. Oh boy, looks like we'll
be watching Stephens driving all the way then.
We get onto the interstate and head towards Cincinnati. Can't go wrong on a highway can we. No we are fine, shame about the
traffic though. We go around a bend and there ahead of us is a solid line of cars as far you can see. Okay, so its going to
take a little longer the 45 minutes to get to the hotel, don't forget Stephen wanted to go to sleep some time back. I joke
I bet it's the others causing the hold up. So we are stuck crawling along, then I notice we just passed the others sitting
in the middle lane, so it's not them. We are crawling along; at least it's not stopped totally. We come alongside an entry
ramp, and there are cars coming down it now and again. Then we starting watching "Police, camera, action" LIVE. One of the
drivers decides that he isn't waiting in this, so starts reversing all the way back up the ramp. Meanwhile other cars are
still coming down, luckily no one hits him. Over the next 20 minutes as we sit crawling along, another 5 cars probably do
the same, good job there weren't any police around. Then a van does a u-turn on the highway and drive up the ramp, oh jeese
something is going to go wrong soon. A van coming down containing a group of guy stops suddenly and all these heads stick
out the windows, they weren't too happy with the other guy.
Then on the radio we hear there was an accident and they are waiting for three wreckers to get there to move it out of the
way, and they might have to stop the traffic totally while they do it. So 45 minutes later we actually get to the incident.
Two trucks have managed to stack it going down this hill. One is on its side spread across three of the lanes; only the outside
hard shoulder is free. The other is jack-knifed pointing the wrong way (wonder what that was like for the driver). The front
is up against a pretty big barrier, which luckily stopped that truck from going off the road and down a pretty steep hill
(that would have killed the driver). This truck has its engine totally out of the cabin; it must have been quite a big crash.
Both drivers are fine though sitting on the side of the road looking a little shocked.
Well we have survived all this so far, not much else could happen now. We pull into the hotel, parking in probably the only
spot in the entire car park that isn't a parking bay, Stephens driving again. We get inside, check-in and go to our rooms.
We said we would meet downstairs later. The time comes, so I go down, and find Christian there, the others made it then.
All the others turn up eventually and we sit drinking some more, by this time well up the alcohol scale. We move over to the
restaurant for dinner. This goes well, we all have a good laugh recounting the event of the day, and going off on other stories.
Good bunch of guys, looks like we are going to have some fun here, so far it's only been one day. Mark mentions the weather,
told you we would come back to this. There are now tornado warning for the surrounding area, turns out there is really big
storm heading our way. I find out later that this one should go around us, but there is another one coming along, and a third
building of the west coast. The west coast is getting covered in snow; they expect a foot in San Diego. Oh well see what happens
in the morning, if we haven't been blown away.
During the meal Christian goes off to the loo, but doesn't come back after ten minutes, now what's happened to him. Maybe he
went up to his room, couldn't take the pressure. We start joking about what could have happened; maybe he fell asleep in the
loo, I recon his resting his chin in the urinal. At least the automatic flushing will wake him up in a minute. He comes back,
went to make a call he says, I reckoned he took so long having to blow dry his hair after falling asleep in the urinal.
Well we all finish up, and head off to bed. We are going to meet up in the morning for a day of shopping. We'll have to wait
and see what happens next!!!
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